Wednesday, May 30, 2007


That's how I feel. My weight is still fluctuating between 174 and 179. TOTM is gone, so I'll weigh again tomorrow. This is about changes and S-E-X.

I feel thin. Well, thinner. I'm liking me, a lot. I'm a lot more confident. I almost always feel sexy. I don't know if this has more to do with the weight-loss or getting older and more mature, but I do feel sexy more often. I'm not self-conscious all the time when I go somewhere. It's more like I know I look good and I know I'm going to get attention and compliments so I'm not nervous or anxious at all. Why was I afraid of getting attention and compliments??? I have an idea... But this is all good, so let's keep it moving.

I asked my manfriend if there was a difference in the sex. Now, I love this man. I've known him for about 15 years. He has seen me as a skinny (size 5/6) 18 year old, watched me balloon up to 250+ pounds, saw me get down to a size 16, go back to an 18, and then watched the entire transformation to now, 178lbs and a size 12. He's been thru all of it. But he only experienced the 'fat' sex, when I was between 220 and 250 (size 16 - 18) because we were friends for about 11 years before we decided to try being more. And now he has experienced me at a size 12. I wanted to know what the differences were, so I asked. He said she was easier to get to. I've done things I've never done before!!! See, when I was skinny, I was a virgin. I didn't lose my virginity until around 250lbs or so (age 23). So most of my sexual experiences have been as a big girl. Well, I've FINALLY done it in the shower! How sad is it that I couldn't do it because the logistics of getting my thighs open while I was standing was mind-boggling. Not anymore! If I stand and spread my legs, my thighs don't touch anymore! So it's not even an issue!!!! There is no more moving fat out of the way to get to my treasure spot. He also mentioned that I was really flexible. Now, I give this credit to Pilates. Oh, that and not having a stomach in the way to impede motion and every damn thing else. How great is that?! It makes doing my toes and shaving my legs so much easier!!! And it lets me move my legs in ways that I couldn't before. Maybe I've always been flexible, it's just that my big ol' belly was always in the way.

When I think about things like this, I know I won't gain the weight back. I'm lovin' this way too much! My manfriend complimented me as a big girl, but nothing like now. He looks at me differently. He is always telling me how good I look or how pretty I am or how nice an outfit looks or something. He has a compliment for me every time he sees me. And it didn't used to be that way. I like the way it makes me feel when I receive the compliments, too. And I want to continue to experience that feeling. So I need to stay on track.

And I haven't exercised in a week and a half. I have GOT to get it together!!! I need to take my measurements...

Monday, May 14, 2007

I'm starting to like this

Well, don't like it too much...

Quotes from one of my favorite movies, Love Jones. But it's true; I'm starting to like this. I'm getting used to my new body. I realize that I'm not BIG anymore. I still think I'm "fat" because I'm not toned. But I'm not hugemungous anymore. I actually feel thin. Yeah, I still wanna get into better shape, but I'm starting to like my newness. I'm realizing some things are just different. I plan to ask my manfriend if there is a difference in the sex (positions, feel, energy, anything). Why? Because I feel sexier. And this is weird because I've gained about 2-4lbs since coming off of FS (I had a mini-binge, but I'm back on task). Yet I still feel sexier. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I'm starting to run? Maybe I feel better about myself because I'm doing better for myself? I dunno. All I know is, I feel like I look good!!! I feel my size. I feel more confident. I don't feel as self-conscious. I don't feel bad about myself, physically. I notice that I catch my reflexion in the mirror a lot more. Now, I've always loved the mirror, don't get me wrong, but there's something different about it now. Before I looked with curiosity, now I look forward to seeing my reflection because I know what I'm going to see, and I know I'm going to like it.

Other things I've noticed - my underwear, way too big!! I haven't been paying too much attention to it, but some I won't even be able to keep as period pannies; they are just too big! When I park too close to the pump at the gas station and my car door hits that little, short, cement pole, I used to couldn't (horrible grammar) fit out the door. Yesterday it happened, and I mumbled, I'm not gonna fit, and I slipped right through!!!!! I couldn't believe it!!! It used to be so embarrassing to have to get back in my car and move it up a little bit just to be able to open the door enough to get out. NO MORE!!!

And I still can't believe I wear a size Medium top. And these size 12 pants are fitting. Not tight at all. Lightweight loose. STILL!!! It's not a joke or a mirage or anything like that! IT'S REAL!!! And I did it!!! AH!!! What a feeling of accomplishment. I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!! I know you should never say never, but I'm saying it! NEVER!!!! I'm enjoying this TOO much to go back to fat, depressed, feeling unsexy and unpretty, self-conscious all the time, drowning my sorrows in food. I didn't even like that life. I like this life! And I'm gonna keep it! Hell, I'm training to run a marathon!!! I mean, I'm running!!! I never thought I'd be able to run for 3 minutes straight and I'm doing it!!! I'm surprising myself in so many new and different ways. I'm showing Me what We can do!

I'm loving it!!!


Thursday, May 10, 2007

Fell off

for dinner. Ok, see, what had happened was... I wasn't prepared for today. I came home during my planning bell to make some rice real quick and ate that with some lentils for lunch, but didn't have anything else for the rest of the day but some fruit. I had some running around to do before my TNT Kick-Off tonight. By the time I got there (7:10pm), I was FAMISHED. Seriously. I figured, no matter what, they would have salad. Nope. Pizza. I'd left my fruit in the car and I was already a few minutes late (made a wrong turn), so I didn't want to go back out to the car. And I couldn't resist the smell and sight of pizza and bread. The school had pizza for the teachers today, but I didn't eat any; I ate my lentils and rice. I won the lunchtime battle against the pizza. But by dinner, the pizza won. I had two slices of veggie pizza. Papa John's, traditional crust. It was really, really, good. I enjoyed it. And I'll do an extra day of Phase I because of that, too. Two extra days, if I have to. I'ma see what the scale says in the morning, lol. But you know I tried to rationalize it in my head, right? "Monique, you haven't eaten anything in 6 hours . . . you're about to start training for a marathon, you'll take it off . . . you already got over 14,000 steps, you can eat some pizza . . . you've eaten like a bird for a week, you deserve it!" That last one is so sad to me, sometimes. Food is always my reward. No better way to reward myself than with food. And I have a rule about that, ever since starting WW. But did any of that come to mind when I reached for that pizza? Nope. Just how my stomach was about to whoop some ass up in there if I didn't eat something. I have no excuses. I thought about it long and hard before I made the decision. I chose to eat the pizza. I chose to put two slices on my plate. And though it took me about 30 minutes, I ate both slices. And as I look back on the whole experience, I realize I have no regrets.

But let's talk about something positive, shall we? When I got to the Kick-Off Celebration, I got my training shirt. First, I didn't know that you should train in non-cotton items. I'm glad I didn't go shopping first, cuz I woulda got all kinds of cotton stuff. Anyway, the shirt. I'd marked medium as my size on my registration form. When I was picking up my shirt, I asked her to hold the medium up for me and she told me I could try it on if I wanted to. So I went into the bathroom and tried it on and . . . . . . it fit!!! It's not a fluke, I really DO wear a medium top! And it wasn't tight or uncomfortable; I had plenty of room. I can't believe I wear a medium. I know I had on that medium top that one day and all the tops I get from the thrift store are mediums, but sometimes I'm still a little hesitant to just say I wear a medium.

Training for this marathon is gonna transform my body. Run/walking and cross-training and weights and Pilates, all that spells transformation. The long runs on Saturdays teach your body how to burn fat . . . wait . . . I'm reading the nutrition tips, and I don't know if FS is going to work with this. WW still will, but I need carbs for fuel to keep me going during longer workouts and after all workouts. I'm going to have to figure it out. I'm sure a lot of it will be trial and error, but I hope I don't gain any weight "figuring it out."

Phase II: Day 10 of FS

I COMPLETED PHASE I!!!!! I weighed myself this morning after dancing and the scale loves me!!! 173!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lost a total of 9.5lbs on Phase I!!!! I didn't cook last night, so half of today will still be Phase I, but I'm eating some type of dead animal for dinner. Probably fish. I want some tilapia. And I'm getting something to drink... as soon as I get off work, lol.

Day 8: meals and nutrient info
(will add later)

Day 9: meals and nutrient info
(will add later)

SMASH IT!!!!!!!!!

I. Love. Dr. Ian!!!!!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Day 9

I made it!!! I'm on the last day of Phase I and I didn't cheat! Except for getting on the scale. I got on again today (yeah, couldn't even wait a day) and it said 174!!! I've lost 8.5lbs so far! We'll see if I lose one more pound today or half a pound for an even 9lbs lost in 9 days.

I get ready to make my smoothie this morning only to notice that I don't have enough yogurt. I'm scared if I use soy milk it will be too runny, even with frozen fruit, so I'm not gonna do it. I'll make a store run during my first bell to get some yogurt. I knew I needed to go to the store yesterday, but I couldn't remember what for. Now I know.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

There is one thing...

that I miss... beverages. Oh, how I would love a frosty beverage. I'm so sick of water. I guess I could have made iced tea and sweetened it with Stevia, but I didn't think of that until just now. I would love to have something to drink. Maybe I'll make a cup of tea tonight before bed. Whatever.

That's not it. I was thinking of making chili instead of stir-fry (no, I haven't cooked yet; I was dancing, got about 1,000 steps). Then I thought of crackers. I can't have any bread for the next THREE weeks. I have to really think about this. Can I really go the next 21 days with no bread or pasta? Realistically? No. Not if I have to "carb-up" for my marathon training. Now, I don't know if I'll have to carb-up while we're doing the lower mileage or not, but I need to find that out. I guess the fact of the matter is, I didn't think I could go nine days without all this stuff. Actually, now that I really think about it, I can't believe I did this. It's 9:27pm the night of the 8th day and I just realized how much of an accomplishment this is for me. I haven't had any meat, BREAD, CHEESE, junk food, nuts, or CEREAL for the past week. That's actually amazing. And I've had money. I'm not broke. And I still stayed on plan. If you knew me, you'd know how much of an accomplishment this was.

Anyway, as I look at all the things I will be able to have, I think I will be able to do it. I'm going to at least give it my best try, just like I did with Phase I. Lemme go make this chili. It ain't like it's gon' take a long time cuz I don't have to really cook the ground "beef," it only has to warm. Soy is so great and convenient like that.

And why is soy such a huge topic of debate? I haven't read anything YET that has said it's detrimental. I've read that it may not have cholesterol-lowering effects, but that doesn't mean it's not healthy. It still have vitamins and nutrients. But I keep hearing some underground rumors about it not being so great for you. I dunno. If you know, hook a sista up.


Just simple. I'ma sit here and wonder how I can get more nutrients. I just looked back over what I ate the past couple days. BARELY NOTHING. I ate all day, but I grazed on fruit. It filled me up, but it clearly didn't provide enough nourishment. It's just that I was running around and I would take fruit with me to snack on while I was out. When I got home, I didn't feel like cooking, so I ate more fruit or I made popcorn. But I could have done better. It's not like I didn't think about it while it was happening ("I hope my body isn't going into starvation mode cuz we're only eating fruit..."), but I didn't want to stop anywhere to eat anything because who knows what I would have gotten. So I ate fruit. I need to do better. For example, I'm tired right now. I would love to take a nap, but it's goin' on 8:30pm. What I need to do is get off the computer and fix some dinner so I can take leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Since tomorrow is the last day, I want to do everything right, you know, go out with a bang.

Ok, lemme do that. What should I cook? Stir-fry? Yeah. Tofu? I'll check the cookbook, but I may hold off on using that. I'm still kinda scared. But I do need something in my stir-fry. Or maybe I don't. Let's see how we do with just broccoli, onions, bell peppers, mushrooms, and bean sprouts. I figure if you can use olive oil to grill veggies, I should be able to use it to stir-fry them, too!


Day 8

It's Day 8!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!! Tomorrow is the last day of Phase I, and I made it, NO CUTTING CORNERS!!! I can't even believe it. I'm going to make a special dinner to commemorate it, lol. I was gonna try and extend Phase I, but I think I'll just move forward to Phase II.

Random thoughts. My nutrition. Let's look at the last week overall:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 1118.1 800 139.76
Vitamin D mcg 0.333 5 6.67
Vitamin E mg_ATE 5.5 8 68.75
Vitamin K mcg 8.6 65 13.23

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 175.23 60 292.04
Thiamin mg 1.21 1.1 109.9
Riboflavin mg 1.34 1.1 121.42
Vitamin B-6 mg 2.41 1.3 185.51
Vitamin B-12 mcg 1.54 2.4 64.35
Niacin mg 10.39 14 74.19
Folate mcg 384.69 400 96.17
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 11.77 15 78.49
Zinc mg 7.75 12 64.58
Selenium mcg 31.3 55 56.92
Copper mg 1.3 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 365.3 1000 36.53
Phosphorus mg 773.75 700 110.54
Magnesium mg 313.44 320 97.95
Sodium mg 1433.2 --- ---
Potassium mg 2940.5 --- ---

I have got to figure out how to get more fat soluble vitamins. But Vitamin D you get from the sun, and I spent time in the sun today (and I don't wear sunscreen). *sigh* I don't understand why it's so hard to get these types of vitamins. And your body makes Vitamin K, too!!! Vitamin A is easy; I just have to eat something orange. But those others... I dunno. *sigh* I'm going to make a concerted effort to do better.

More later...

Day 6 and Day 7

I can't believe I didn't blog for two days! LOL! Today is Day 8, but I need to add meals and nutrition info for the past two days. And, yes, I'm still on plan! I actually FEEL thinner, so I know it's working. Well, that and I've gotten on the scale twice. I couldn't help it! :halo:

Day 6

11:40am ~ 60-minute walk (8900 steps)
1:40 ~ 4oz veggie sausage, 1/2 cup egg beaters, 6tbsp grits (about a cup cooked)
2 apples
2 cups of grapes
medium banana
10 cups air-popped popcorn
32oz water

11 total points and 1,106 calories. Here's the nutrition breakdown:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 301.64 800 37.7
Vitamin D mcg 2 5 40
Vitamin E mg_ATE 7.22 8 90.24
Vitamin K mcg 10.19 65 15.68

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 63.43 60 105.72
Thiamin mg 1.15 1.1 104.81
Riboflavin mg 2.7 1.1 245.13
Vitamin B-6 mg 1.57 1.3 121.02
Vitamin B-12 mcg 2.4 2.4 100
Niacin mg 5.07 14 36.25
Folate mcg 231.29 400 57.82
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 9.59 15 63.96
Zinc mg 4.64 12 38.69
Selenium mcg 17.2 55 31.27
Copper mg 0.902 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 315.52 1000 31.55
Phosphorus mg 351.09 700 50.16
Magnesium mg 184.83 320 57.76
Sodium mg 1309.8 --- ---
Potassium mg 2107.4 --- ---

Day 7

8:45am ~ 9oz smoothie: 6oz yogurt, 8 slices frozen peaches, 1 med banana, 1 pkt Stevia, 3 dashes nutmeg
11:22 ~ apple
12:12pm ~ grapes
1:31 ~ 1 cup rice, 1 cup lentils
11pm ~ 10 cups air-popped popcorn
59.5oz water

20.5 points and 1,390 calories. Nutrition info:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 185.8 800 23.23
Vitamin D mcg 0 5 0
Vitamin E mg_ATE 6.26 8 78.29
Vitamin K mcg 13.91 65 21.39

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 195.71 60 326.19
Thiamin mg 1.21 1.1 110.29
Riboflavin mg 1.23 1.1 111.4
Vitamin B-6 mg 2.24 1.3 172.21
Vitamin B-12 mcg 1.13 2.4 46.93
Niacin mg 9.75 14 69.65
Folate mcg 341.58 400 85.4
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 9.72 15 64.8
Zinc mg 8.3 12 69.17
Selenium mcg 42.29 55 76.89
Copper mg 1.55 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 499.7 1000 49.97
Phosphorus mg 1055.9 700 150.84
Magnesium mg 370.66 320 115.83
Sodium mg 1106.9 --- ---
Potassium mg 3052.7 --- ---

Saturday, May 05, 2007


I was reading a friend's blog and it made me realize a lot of things about my own weight-loss journey.

For one, it made me finally answer a question I've been asking myself over the past few months: if I was skinny for 18 years THEN gained (a whole 'nother body worth of) weight, why was I not a skinny person trapped in a fat person's body? Why now after losing the weight do I still feel like a fat girl? Her story helped me to understand why: because I don't have negative memories of being skinny. I mean, the jokes (twiggy, Annie, short for Anorexic, etc) didn't hurt my feelings. But I will never forget things people said or did while I was overweight. The story about her ex-boyfriend really hit home for me, too. My ex-boyfriend just out and out told me one day that I had gained weight and I wasn't sexy anymore. It didn't hurt my feelings at the time because it pissed me off so bad. Not to mention, I didn't think I looked bad. But I have NEVER forgotten it. Nor have I forgotten how people would look at me when I got on the train and had to pick a seat, like they hoped I wouldn't sit next to them. Or how when my sisters would introduce me to people what they said, "This is my little sister, I know she don't look like it, LOL, I guess I should say my baby sister..." It would piss me off every time. They did it ALL the time, like it was a new joke each time. And all of this makes me thing of something else. Growing up, my parents were both overweight (probably obese). Affectionately, I called my mommy Fat Slobby. I have no idea what made me start calling her this, but I did, and I did so lovingly. Now, when I can't even apologize, I wonder if it hurt her feelings at all. I hope it didn't, because I honestly didn't think there was anything wrong with how she looked. And that's probably why I didn't think there was anything wrong with how I looked when I was obese. At least in my clothes, because I clearly knew there was something wrong with how I looked without clothes.

Something else I can relate to: not recognizing myself in pictures! And this to me is the hugest mind screw ever. It took pictures to show me a difference. My mind still held the size 18 image. That's what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Only in the past week have I stood in the mirror and REALLY looked and figured out, I'm NOT a size 18. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has problems seeing myself at the new weight. One thing's for sure, though, I'm not nervous about wearing clothes that fit anymore! No way! I want them to fit!

Constantly learning and growing through this process.

Day 5

Who KNEW I could make it this far? I am really surprising myself. And I know it's because I really want to succeed. I want to get on the scale soooooooo bad!!!!! But I'ma be strong, lol. Let me post yesterday's meals and nutrient info.


11:22am ~ small apple (1)
1:30pm ~ 1/4 cup br rice (1), 1/4 cup lentils (1)
3:15 ~ 1/2 cup rice (2), 1/2 cup lentils (2)
4:05 ~ small apple (1)
8:00pm ~ boca burger (1), 1 cup sweet potatoes (1), 1/2 ear corn (1)
11:00 ~ 1 cup watermelon (1)
1:00am ~ 5 cups air popped popcorn (1)

That is a total of 13 points and 1,363 calories. Nutrient info:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 4320.8 800 540.1
Vitamin D mcg 0 5 0
Vitamin E mg_ATE 4.02 8 50.22
Vitamin K mcg 0 65 0

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 82.24 60 137.07
Thiamin mg 1.21 1.1 110.12
Riboflavin mg 0.753 1.1 68.43
Vitamin B-6 mg 1.83 1.3 140.48
Vitamin B-12 mcg 0.0079 2.4 0.329
Niacin mg 9.08 14 64.87
Folate mcg 796.03 400 199.01
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 18.45 15 123.02
Zinc mg 8.23 12 68.61
Selenium mcg 32.83 55 59.69
Copper mg 1.87 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 240.28 1000 24.03
Phosphorus mg 1111.3 700 158.75
Magnesium mg 331.08 320 103.46
Sodium mg 2033.7 --- ---
Potassium mg 3104 --- ---

Yesterday was the first day I went over my sodium intake for the day (2K max).

So I'm halfway through FS and doing just fine. Yesterday could have definitely been better. And I also haven't been exercising like I should have been. Because of that, my weight-loss for the week may not be as shocking as I want it to be. I just really want to get on the scale to see how I'm doing. I mean, it's not like it's cheating for real, it's just that I won't be as surprised on Day 10 when I get on the scale. Man, screw that; I have enough willpower with eating, I'ma get on the scale, just to see how I'm doing since I'm halfway through. Then I won't get back on until Day 10. I think that's a decent compromise. So let's go see.

Ok, I had put the scale in the living room closet. So I go get it out, take it in the bathroom and get on. It says 80.6. I'm like, WTF? Did my scale break? Is the 1 broken??? If so, I've only lost 2lbs????? Then I notice the 6 and I'm like, I never get anything but a 5 after the decimal point; WTF? So I look on the bottom, and somehow, it got switched from lb to kg. So I switched it back and got on... 177.5! I've lost 5lbs so far!!!! That's GREAT!!! I hope I lose as much in this last stretch. Even if I don't lose any more, that takes me out of the 180's!!!! So I'm already satisfied with FS. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to move onto Phase 2 or just go back to WW. I think I'm going to do Phase 2. What I've noticed is that I'm basically only eating Core foods. Technically, I shouldn't even be counting Flex Points, I should only count points for foods that aren't Core and take those points out of my WAP. Remember when I tried to do Core and couldn't? Too much bread and cereal. But maybe I can get a hold on it now since FS is re-training me how to eat.

I'm succeeding. I'm not stressing over what I'm going to eat or anything. I'm not longing for the end of Phase 1. I'm not complaining, either. Yesterday, my 9th graders celebrated Cinco de Mayo and we had all kinds of yummy goodies: burritos, tacos, rice and beans, chips and salsa, and and Mexican bread. I couldn't eat any of it. One of the girls brought in chocolate bars and offered me one and I politely told her no gracias. I kinda did want a taco, a soft one, but I didn't REALLY want it, like REAL bad. I just thought, it probably tastes GREAT! And that was that.

You know what else? I'm not having any caffeine withdrawals. Why not??? Last time I was having headaches and nausea. This time, nothing. Isn't that odd?

I'm gonna read the next chapter of FS again and see what Phase 2 is all about.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Day 4

Did you know that since 1983, May has been observed as National Physical Fitness and Sports Month? I found out yesterday and thought that it was ironic that I'd started FS on May 1st. And it's the beginning of Day 4 and I'm still on plan!!!!! No real cravings, not missing meat, and no caffeine withdrawals! Easing into this a little at a time was a great idea! And what a great month to get my focus back.

Exercising yesterday. Remember how excited I was? Remember? Man. I got to the fitness center in my building and couldn't figure out how to work the treadmill. I mean, I tried for like 15 minutes to figure it out and couldn't. And there wasn't anyone I could ask. When I get home today, I'm going to go at the same time as this one lady so I can ask her how to work it. I felt so slow. So I started some weight training, buy my friend showed up to visit, so I didn't get much done. I did try, though!

Yesterday's meals...

9:18am ~ 1 cup cantaloupe (1)
12:05pm ~ 9oz smoothie (5)
  • 6oz ff plain yogurt
  • 1 large banana
  • 6 frozen peach slices
  • 1/2 cup frozen mixed berries
  • 2 packets Stevia

1:30 ~ 1 cup lettuce, ~ 3/4 medium cucumber, salad spritzer (0)

2:06 ~ Banana (2)

5:13 ~ 1/2 banana (1)

7:52 ~ 1/2 banana (1)

9:27 ~ 1/2 cup brown rice, 1/2 cup curried lentils (4)

1146 calories and only 15 points. Not so hot, huh? Nutrition?

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 622.99 800 77.87
Vitamin D mcg 0 5 0
Vitamin E mg_ATE 3.66 8 45.75
Vitamin K mcg 6.39 65 9.83

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 220.16 60 366.93
Thiamin mg 0.973 1.1 88.41
Riboflavin mg 1.18 1.1 107.18
Vitamin B-6 mg 3.46 1.3 266.42
Vitamin B-12 mcg 1.13 2.4 46.93
Niacin mg 9.04 14 64.57
Folate mcg 674.2 400 168.55
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 12.49 15 83.29
Zinc mg 7.26 12 60.52
Selenium mcg 30.35 55 55.19
Copper mg 1.46 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 512.97 1000 51.3
Phosphorus mg 1027.3 700 146.76
Magnesium mg 347.3 320 108.53
Sodium mg 1210 --- ---
Potassium mg 4198.5 --- ---

I did OK. Still need to do better. If I juiced once a day, I'd get all those nutrients I'm missing, no doubt. Maybe I'll make some juice tonight. I think I will, and I'll add it to my after-workout smoothie.

I haven't eaten yet, so I need to eat something. I can't believe I'm already into Day 4!!!! Go me!!!

Thursday, May 03, 2007


I'm noticing other things about my body.

First let me say, I carry myself differently when I'm eating and exercising. I sit with better posture, or at least I try to. Or maybe I just feel different. I dunno. It just seems like I notice more stuff. Whatever, maybe I'm trippin'.


My legs, well, my thighs. They really are smaller; they don't touch all the way to the knee. And if you're easily grossed out, I apologize in advance, because the next part might be TMI. Ok, my pubic triangle. Mine didn't used to exist unless you lifted fat to find it. Guess what I noticed today? The front of my jeans fit kinda funny, like right in the front. Normally, it's just all full of fat. Well, today it looked funny because part of it wasn't filled with fat and was more of an air pocket: the area of my pubic triangle. The fat doesn't cover it anymore. Right now, in this moment, I'm wondering if I should be ashamed that fat used to cover my pubic triangle. Sidebar: Why didn't this body part get a cutesie name? Your mammary glands are your breasts, tits, hooters, etc. Your gluteus maximus is your booty, butt, ass, etc. And so on and so forth. Arm doesn't describe what it is, it's just your arm. But not the pubic triangle, it really is just the triangle of pubic hair. I googled this, and what I googled was "triangle pubic hair." And most sites call it a pubic triangle. I mean, it's the mons pubis, but who knows that? Is there any other body part that doesn't have a name, only a description? Yeah, I guess your back. From now on, I'ma call my pubic triangle my peety. You gotta love blogs, cuz only in a blog can I go off on a tangent like this. But I actually do this in real life, too. End of sidebar. I'm getting hungry. What was I saying? Oh! My peety is no longer covered in fat. How wonderful is that? My stomach is still fat, but it's shrinking!!! I think all of it really is gonna go away!!! Can you believe that?? I mean, I can touch my peety without lifting my stomach is what I'm tryna say. This might be a minor miracle. I wonder how long I've been able to do this and just haven't noticed?

And as far as getting hungry, I gotta go eat something. This eating every few hours thing ain't no joke. My body knows when 3 hours has passed. Weird.

I forgot

to blog about my happy moment yesterday. Ok, so you know I have to plan for the FS thing, right? Well, right as I was getting ready to wash my pots & pans and start cooking dinner, my friend calls me in distress: her car was acting up on the freeway. So I started hurrying around the house to go help her and what did I do? I grabbed fruit to snack on and my last serving of Fajita Rice in case it took longer than expected, a bottle of water and out the door. I actually took time to pack a WAR bag!!!! I was so excited as I was leaving that I called my friend PJ to tell her what I did. That was a turning point. I've NEVER thought quick like that when it came to food. And that kept me from being hungry with nothing to eat. And I'm SO glad I did because I needed that food!!!! I really am creating new habits. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Oh wait, yeah I do. The same lazy chick as before. Cuz I ain't get up this morning to exercise. But I WILL do my 30 minutes on the treadmill today (run/walking). By next week, I should be back up to my one hour walk/run. I'm gonna push myself. Not too hard, but I'm gonna push myself.

I felt so GOOD this morning!!! I wanted to weigh myself SOOOOOOO bad!!!! But I didn't. I really want to wait until the morning of Day 10 because I want it to be a surprise. I can't wait. :)


with yesterday's results. I had 1695 calories!!! And it's because of the popcorn and the rice cakes. I meant to only pop FIVE cups, but I used 5tbsp instead of 2tbsp. I got confused. But the average for both days is 1325 calories, and that's OK. Not all bad. I just have to control that snacking urge.

Nutrient info:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 421.61 800 52.7
Vitamin D mcg 0 5 0
Vitamin E mg_ATE 6.38 8 79.71
Vitamin K mcg 11.86 65 18.25

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 268.77 60 447.95
Thiamin mg 1.51 1.1 137.67
Riboflavin mg 1.52 1.1 137.88
Vitamin B-6 mg 3.54 1.3 272.01
Vitamin B-12 mcg 2.81 2.4 116.93
Niacin mg 16.29 14 116.36
Folate mcg 162.46 400 40.61
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 12.11 15 80.72
Zinc mg 11.39 12 94.91
Selenium mcg 40.86 55 74.29
Copper mg 1.31 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 492.58 1000 49.26
Phosphorus mg 816.64 700 116.66
Magnesium mg 426.03 320 133.13
Sodium mg 1598.1 --- ---
Potassium mg 3275.9 --- ---

OMG! It actually C&P'd!!! This is my nutrient report from yesterday. I'm going to post it every day now that I know it'll do it. Ooh, lemme edit yesterday's, lol, so we can have some consistency. And I'll post later how I plan to get the rest of these nutrients.

Day 3

I'm ready for the 3rd day. Not prepared, but at least ready. I didn't cook last night, so today will be fruit and salad day until I get home. I need to eat all 4 bananas I have left before they go bad. Oh, I guess I could freeze a couple to use in my smoothies. I didn't get up and exercise this morning, but I'm walking to work and back, so that will serve as my exercise for today. And I really am gonna try to go to Pilates today. It's so hard to get back in the swing of things.

Food-wise, I think I did worse yesterday than I did on Day 1. Here's what I ate yesterday and at what time:

8:30-9:17am ~ 9oz Peach Banana Smoothie (5pts)
10:41am ~ med apple (1pt)
12:04pm ~ Fajita Rice (1/2 serving) (2.5pts)
1:38 ~ Fajita Rice (other half)(2.5pts)
4:50 ~ Banana (1pt)
6:30 ~ Banana (1pt)
6:43 ~ Fajita Rice (1/2 serving) (2.5pts)
8:51 ~ Fajita Rice (other half) (2.5pts)
9:04 ~ Quaker Rice Cake (PBCC) (1pt)
9:22 ~ 10 cups air popped popcorn (3pts)
10:20 ~ 1 cup watermelon, 2 QRC (3pts)

25 Points total; not bad. I need to enter this into to see if I had enough calories and nutrients. Too many snacks last night, especially between 9pm and 10:30. I think that's my problem time. And I was tired last night so I shoulda just went to sleep. But no, the snack monster was at it.

Gotta get my smoothie ready. More later...

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


I ate half of my serving of fajita rice and I feel satisfied. I didn't have to eat ALL of it. I'll eat the other half when I get hungry this afternoon. I guess as long as I'm "grazing" it doesn't matter if it's exactly every 2-3 hours, as long as it's not longer than that when I eat.

I still can't believe this is going so well! When I went to the store yesterday, I saw so much stuff I'd never seen before and would love to try. I know I only noticed it because I knew I couldn't have it.

I am not doing so well at my water consumption today, though. This is going to take some getting used to again.

So glad for

I'm glad I went over there to log what I ate yesterday. Let me show y'all:

9am - .60lb cantaloupe (about 1 cup)
12:12pm - medium apple
1:31 - ~1/2 a cup of island fruit medley (pineapples, mango, papaya)
6:30 - fajita rice (1 svg)
8:40 - large banana
10pm - 1 svg fajita rice
10:21 - 1 Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Quaker Rice Cake (made from brown rice!)
10:30 - 1 cup watermelon, 2 strawberries

and I had 42.5 ounces of water yesterday (not so good). No exercise.

That is a total of only 947 calories!!!! No WONDER this works. We'll see if I can get closer to 1500 calories today since I'm trying to eat all 24 of my points.

Now, nutrition-wise. All that produce, STILL, not so good:

Fat-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin A mcg_RE 855.69 800 106.96
Vitamin D mcg 0 5 0
Vitamin E mg_ATE 5.46 8 68.29
Vitamin K mcg 9.27 65 14.25

Water-Soluble Vitamins
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Vitamin C mg 221.04 60 368.41
Thiamin mg 1.19 1.1 108.1
Riboflavin mg 0.643 1.1 58.49
Vitamin B-6 mg 1.83 1.3 140.93
Vitamin B-12 mcg 1.8 2.4 75
Niacin mg 13.08 14 93.44
Folate mcg 102.61 400 25.65
Trace Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Iron mg 8.27 15 55.14
Zinc mg 6.67 12 55.56
Selenium mcg 24.3 55 44.19
Copper mg 0.677 --- ---

Major Minerals
Nutrient Units Intake RDA % RDA
Calcium mg 130.76 1000 13.08
Phosphorus mg 280.3 700 40.04
Magnesium mg 220.74 320 68.98
Sodium mg 1340.5 --- ---
Potassium mg 1904.3 --- ---

So I'll read my Wellness Foods book today to see what I need to up these other vitamins and minerals. I think just because of the smoothie, I'm already doing better nutrient-wise today.

And I'm hungry. My next meal should be at 1:30; an hour and a half from now. If I can't wait that long, I'll eat another apple. I sooooooo wanna eat my lunch right now. But then I'll only have an apple and a banana to last me until 4:30, and that won't do. But I'm hungry. Oh yeah, my stomach just growled. I'm going to heat up my fajita rice.

Day 2

I made it! :) Although yesterday I only had 16 points. I think I'll do better as far as eating all my points today because I'm taking a 5pt lunch (leftover fajita rice). AND I'm making a smoothie for breakfast. I should be able to eat 24 points today. Later, I'll document in here what I ate yesterday along with the times I ate. I'll do that daily, in case anyone (meat eaters) wonders what you could possibly eat for 9 days on so strict (to me, at least) a diet. And in case I lose the notebook I'm writing it all down in. Why I'm not keeping it in my weight-loss journal, I don't know.

I walked this morning, but only for 30 minutes. Ran about 500ft. Tomorrow, I'll time the running part. Then I did some ab exercises. I could only do 23 full sit-ups!!! So I'll shoot for 25 before I go to bed, and some leg lifts. I feel like I'm starting off slow, but I also know I'll keep building up, so I need to start somewhere. I don't want to overwork myself, but I don't want to underwork myself either. I'm going to do some weight training today after work.

I know it's only Day 2, but I kinda feel good. I mean, I feel good for sticking to the plan. I feel good for getting up this morning and exercising. I feel good for having my meals planned out for today. I feel good that I have a kitchen stocked with healthy, whole foods. I feel good physically; I haven't coughed once since waking up!!! I was having my usual sinus issues and it creates a phlegmy cough for me (almost constant, all day long, very annoying). Not today. I have not coughed ONE TIME!!! I wonder if that's a coincidence?

I'm going to put my food into fitday (or calorie counter, we'll see) to see what nutrients I'm getting and where I'm lacking. I want to make sure I'm not deficient in anything. If I'm going to re-train my body (and my mind, especially) how to eat, I might as well do it right.

I feel so . . . together! And I don't know why. Is it the change in seasons? It was this same time last year that I started WW (and this blog, I think!), and took it so seriously. Whatever it is, I'm glad it's in me. I'm ready to watch my body transform!!! And I'm ready and willing to put in the work that it's gonna take to achieve the results I want.

I can already tell, I'm going to have a GREAT day!!! HalleluYAH!!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I never thought

I'd blog so much, lol. I gave the rest of that "island" fruit to the kids. No me gusta. Anyway...

I came home and made dinner: Faijitas over Rice. I used the MSF Chik'n and Steak Strips with green and red bell peppers and onions. Served it on top of brown rice. It was DELICIOUS!!! I have enough for lunch AND dinner for tomorrow.

Off to the library to get some smoothie books. Then it's back to the grocery store. I need some grapes, spices, popcorn, vegetable broth, and olive oil.

Tomorrow I'm going to try my hand and currying something.

Who knew I would actually enjoy FS??? I'm having fun! :)

Here's what I've learned

so far on Day 1.

I don't like papaya or mango. Maybe I'll blend it into a smoothie or make some fresh juice. But just eating it? Nah, I don't like it. I knew I didn't like mango, but I thought I'd try it again. I don't like the consistency of it in my mouth. And it doesn't have as much taste as the juice.

See how bottled stuff tarnishes your tastebuds?

It's 1:45pm and I still have both bananas left, the strawberries, one apple, and this island fruit medley that I don't like (except the pineapples).

I was proctoring an exam today, so during my down time (when I should have been grading papers) I was searching the internet for recipes. I think I'm going to try and make my own curry powder, so I have to go BACK to the grocery store for a few more items. I'll most likely need more olive oil and I need some vegetable stock (I'm not making any, I'm eating the produce I bought) and LOTS of seasonings!!! I also need some bay leaves. And popcorn. And if an airpopper is cheap, I'll get one of those, too.

So many ideas. I want to curry the tofu. I also want to curry some lentils. I wonder if they make brown basmati rice and if so if it's as good as whole grain brown rice. I'm just glad you can even have brown rice period.

By this time on Day 1 the last time I did this, I was ready to give up!!! I didn't even make it to dinner! But not today!!! I'm not really that hungry, although I'll be glad to get some real food when I get home. I'ma make some fajitas real quick with some rice. Then I'll go to the store.

I forgot about water!!! I've been doing pretty well on my water intake. I'm still trying to do half my weight in ounces, so that's 91.25 ounces each day. I'll include my herbal tea in that, too, since it has no caffeine and no sugar.

All that to say, so far so good.




First thing in the morning. I've eaten nothing. I walk in the building and one of the teachers is handing out cookies!!! I hear her say, "I've gained a few pounds so I have to give away the stuff that I make." I feel her; I've done the same thing before (you've read about it!). But I couldn't believe it! Why she ain't have cookies YESTERDAY????? Oh, no, not yesterday. Today. Day 1. First thing in the morning. I just told her no thanks, showed her the FS book, came into my classroom, and started eating some cantaloupe (which is sweeter than I expected) and blogging about the cookie monster. I'm kinda glad it happened now and not later after I'm tired of eating fruit.

Fat Smash, Day 1

Well, it's the morning of the 1st day. My weight (not surprising) is 182.5. My first meal will be at 9am, then another meal every 3hrs thereafter. I didn't cook last night (obviously), so I packed fruit to take with me to school. There have been days when I barely ate, so even if it's just fruit, I'll be eating it throughout the day. I should be cool as far as hunger is concerned. I have two apples, a banana, 10 strawberries, a cup of cantaloupe, and a cup of mixed fruit (fresh pineapples, mango, and papaya). That should last me the whole day. When I come home, I'll cook something. Maybe something already on my list or something I find in the vegetarian cookbook I bought. I'll probably cook two things and just put them in ziploc containers so that I'm cool for a couple days. Or I may freeze some for next week. We'll see.

I weighed myself this morning, just like the book said, and I put the scale away. I will not take it out, no matter how curious I am, until the morning of Day 10. And I've been weighing myself daily for the past who knows how long, so that's going to be a hard habit to break.

Whew, so focused and serious. I forgot this Monique existed.

Smash it!!!

Ok, I'm giving it another go. Fat Smash, that is. I need a jump start, and I need to cleanse my system after eating so much junk over the past month or two. Even though I've done OK on the NMD, I still need to cleanse and re-begin my weight-loss efforts. And FS is the perfect jump-start. I went to the bookstore today and bought the Fat Smash book and a Low-Fat Vegetarian Cookbook; I figured the cookbook would be good to have on hand even in the future. I mean, I'm sure there are some things that I'll eat while I'm on FS that I'll end up liking and eating more of in the future. Last time I started this, I was hardly prepared. Not this time. I just went to the grocery store and spent over $100 on mainly produce. This is a FIRST!!! I got some stuff I've never gotten before (yellow & orange bell peppers, bean sprouts, tofu, etc), but I'm so excited to try different recipes. I still need to find some curry paste. Anyway, I am going to figure out the best schedule for me to eat since I MUST eat every 3 hours. I also have to make sure I get all my points for the day since I'll be eating so many no & low-point foods. And the exercise won't even be a problem because me and my friend (and neighbor) are going to start walk/jogging 5/2 at 5:50am. Walking out of my apartment at 5:50am is gonna suck, but at least it's out of the way and I won't have to worry about it for the rest of the day.

I'm going to try and blog every day (prolly more than once a day) while I'm on FS. I know I'm going to get frustrated, but I also know I can do this. From now on, I'm attacking everything in the same manner I'll have to do with the marathon: MIND OVER MATTER. I feel like I got enough stuff at the store to give me plenty of variety. I can make fajita stir fry with faux steak/chicken strips, taco salad with Boca crumbles, chili with (or without) Boca crumbles, fruit salad, regular salad, Boco burgers (or grilled tofu) with whipped sweet potatoes, and corn. Oh! And I can make smoothies! Plus I can have grits and scrambled egg beaters for breakfast! And I even bought some veggie sausage! Omelets! With fresh fruit! Fruit as snacks! Celery sometimes! I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

*** :( :( :( :( :( I just read in the FS yahoo group that you can't have veggie meat that also has gluten in it (well it said, bread, I assume vital wheat gluten is considered bread since you can use it to make bread). That saddens me because it's a huge part of my menu. I know I said I'd follow FS to the letter, but I may have to bend here. I even checked the sodium content to make sure I could have them and keep it under 2000mg.

That did let a little air out of my balloon. I'm gonna get some rest. Stay tuned for how things are going tomorrow, Day 1 of Phase 1. I will check in with my weight (and I'm not supposed to weigh myself again until Day 10), measurements, and what I ate for breakfast.