Thursday, June 08, 2006


It's still a Zero. I did gain 2lbs, though. I honestly don't feel so bad about it. And I'm not sure why. My clothes still feel looser. I still FEEL thinner. And I STILL have no desire to go back to where I was. So I know I'm not giving up, and maybe that's why I don't feel so bad. I had a bad week, but that's in the past, so I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm going to continue to focus on staying on plan and continuing to exercise.

Tonight I'm going to look thru my journal and figure out when I binge the most. I'm thinking it's the week before my period, but I'm going to check and see. I also don't like exercising when I'm on my period. I have to get out of that, but I don't even want to MOVE let alone exercise. I've got to get better on that front.

I wore jeans to my WI last night cuz I didn't stop at home. Normally I wear sweats or something like that. I guess jeans are pretty heavy because ALL three of the receptionists (including my leader) commented on the fact that I was wearing jeans. So from now on, I'm going to wear the same thing each week. Maybe a lot of my gain was because I'm bloated as all get out and I had on jeans. Oh, and the fact that I didn't stay on plan last week? Keep it real, Monique. At any rate, I hope the scale goes back down next week.

Emailed a lady about racewalking. Hopefully I'll hear from her soon. I've never been a competitive athelete, and I don't know that I want to compete. I probably won't, but I DO want to use it to intensify my workouts. We'll see.

It's so weird. I am feeling gross and fat and bloated, BUT I still felt thinner this morning. So I decided to try on my goal-jeans that I got at the thrift store last week. Maybe I'm much more bloated the week before my period than when I'm actually on. I dunno. The fact that I've just now started paying attention to this is tripped out. So much so I'm not even gon' focus on it. Anyway, I tried on the jeans, and they fit better than they did last week. I am convinced: periods are evil. I'm not going to have to wait until fall to wear those jeans. My goal? July 12th. That is a little more than a month from now. The jeans are from the GAP, a size 14 tall. And it trips me out that 14s at other stores are smaller than 14s at LB or AS. WTF is that about? You get all excited that you can fit a 14, you go to Lerners to try on 14s over there, and they don't fit. Only to have a sales rep say, "You do know we carry 16s?" If I wanted to wear a 16, I'd go back to Lane Bryant, thank you very much. Ugh. It made me remember why I didn't shop at the GAP when I COULD fit their clothes. They are not made for my body. I don't know if they'll ever fit quite right, but I know that by next month, I'ma be sportin' them jeans! I know that! :)

I cannot believe that I gained TWO pounds and I'm still on some diet high.


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