Still losing!!!

I had to go out and get a scale. I won't be able to go to TOPS meetings due to a work conflict, so I need to be able to weigh myself. I was afraid to get on the scale because of the binging and whatnot. But I needn't have worried: I'm at 186lbs!!! I can't believe it, but the weight just keeps coming off. Thanks to FitDay.com, I know that I'm consistently burning more calories than I eat each day. So I guess that's why I'm still losing. Know what I thought about today? How much better would I look if I was exercising consistently? I'm losing all this weight and I still look fat and flabby. I need to really get it together. So I also got a resistance tube so I could start circuit training. I noticed in the mirror that my stomach has the two vertical lines on each side, you know, where my abs are supposed to be. I decided that I want a six-pack! And the only way to get it is to commit to being more active and doing activity that builds muscle. After all of this, I really do wanna look as good as I feel. I only did one exercise video last week. This week, I'm challenging myself to do the videos THREE days and circuit training THREE days. CHALLENGE!!!

What a week! Whew!

Ok, so I started a new job this week. When I say it took ALL my energy, it took it ALL. I'm up at 5am and not home until 6:30pm (at the earliest), and by then, I'm EXHAUSTED! It doesn't help that I'm an insomniac. My goal is to be in bed by 9pm. Anyway, I didn't cook a single thing all week! And I only walked ONCE. SAD!!! I ate HORRIBLY, too. Only drank one glass of fresh juice. I only packed my lunch once. One day I got a healthy lunch, but still, I have got to do better. Three days last week, I ate fried, fatty foods for lunch. Unacceptable. So I came up with a plan.

Food. Each Sunday, I'm going to make dinner and lunch for the WHOLE week. That way, I don't have to worry about cooking or anything during the week. I will have time to make a glass of juice in the morning, exercise for 30mins in the evening, and make a glass of fresh juice to drink before dinner. I have to get back on track. This week, I'm making pasta (using whole wheat pasta, ground turkey, and turkey italian sausage) and red beans and yellow rice. With two meals, I can switch up during the week and not get bored with my choices. I will also keep salad made so that I can have a side salad with my lunch and dinner each day. And I'll snack on fruit and veggies.

Exercise. Ok, so walking for an hour just might not happen. I know I said I'd keep walking in the cold, but it just may not happen. I'm too tired to commit to that just yet. BUT, I can still do the Curves style circuit training (30mins, 3x/wk) and aerobic videos (30mins, 3x/wk). I will MAKE 30 minutes to exercise each day. NO EXCUSES!!!!! I'm at the library now and the first thing I did was pick up 6 exercise videos!

Accountability. I bought the cutest little notebook to use as my food journal. It's pink and green and just cute. :) I got it on the 18th and I began to use it on the 18th, even though I wasn't eating well. I ate horribly all week, but I still wrote everything down. AND I signed up at www.fitday.com. I LOVE this site!!! I can enter my food intake and activity each day and see the breakdown of how many calories I've eaten, what percentage comes from fat, carb, and protein, how much saturated/polyunsat/monounsat fat, whether or not I'm getting my RDA of vitamins and minerals, and reports of calories eaten vs calories burned. It helps me to stay on track, not just with how many points I'm eating, but whether or not I'm eating the RIGHT stuff. I love it! And I'll tell you what, even when I binge, I'm still burning more calories than I eat. I totally forgot about my basal metabolic rate. Totally forgot that my body burns calories on its own. THAT'S why I'm still losing weight and inches. But I have to give my body the nutrients it needs and that's where fitday comes in to play. I've been keeping track of my points, and man, I've been eating too much. I've already gone thru all of my WAP and I still have 3 days to go! It's so true, when you don't write stuff down, you lose track of what you've eaten. And I'm gonna start my period this week, too?! So you can imagine what I've been eating. Friday night I ate a pint of ice cream. 1/2 of one kind and 1/2 of another. That was dinner. How sad is that? Then yesterday I ate 7 wingdings (21pts) and LOTS of bread. So now I have to enter that into fitday (the best way I can for the bread sticks). But the good news is, today is a NEW day. All that bad eating is BEHIND me! I can move forward starting today.

Now, even though I didn't eat well and I didn't exercise like I should have, there WERE things that I think I did well last week. On Monday, there was an ice cream social. Free ice cream, as much as you wanted (people were taking ice cream home, ok?) Monique didn't eat ANY! Then they had a BAKE SALE!!! Did I buy anything? Yup - an apple. It was HUGE and DELICIOUS!!! I didn't buy any snacks from the vending machine all week (save some Sun Chips for my lunch on Tuesday). Our trainer brought in coffee cake at the beginning of the week. I didn't have any. Then on Friday, she brough in brownies. I didn't have any of those, either. So even though I did bad all by myself, it could have been considerably worse!

I'll update on how I do this week! Since I'm planning ahead, I should be aight!!!

Mini update

Herbs & Gardening. Ok, so this gardening thing is a little more than I thought it would be. I mean, I only wanted to grow herbs. But I can't start them in the fall/winter. I figure I'll read and research during these seasons, do some little projects at home (I got a couple gardening books for kids and they have some projects in them), and by the time spring gets here, I'll be ready to plant some stuff. Now, I did see some herb plants at the grocery store, mint and something else, so I think I'll get those and just put them in actual pots. That's a start. If I can keep them alive, I know I can grow some stuff. I'm still going to grow and juice wheatgrass. I don't have to wait until spring to do that. And from what I'm reading, it seems really easy to grow; only takes about 7 days. So I figure I'll finish reading The Wheatgrass Book (by Ann Wigmore), buy a wheatgrass juicer off of Ebay, and get started growing in a month or so. Man, that stuff sounds POWERFUL!!! I used to silently mock folks who went into juice bars getting shots of random stuff. Who KNEW I'd end up one of these natural fanatics. Well, I'm not a fanatic, I'm just trying to be the healthiest I can be. More on that later.

Juicing. I'm doing it! Two glasses of fresh juice each day! I LOVE carrot-apple juice! Today I added some pineapple and it was DELICIOUS!!! My evening juices will always be green vegetables with some carrot and apple to give it some sweetness and make it easier to digest. I've moved my juicer from the baker's rack to the counter. With it in my view all the time, it's hard to forget to use it. And I have little to no counter space, but I'm making it work. I've been thinking about moving so that I have a better (bigger, more cabinet & counter space) kitchen, but I REALLY destest moving. I also wanted to save money on rent, but I just don't have it in me to move right now. That's too exhausting of a task and I'm already mentally and emotionally drained. So for now I'm staying put, little kitchen and all.

Books. I love them!!! I am learning SO much just from reading. My latest faves? The fat-free cooking books by Sandra Woodruff. I'm going to try a couple of her recipes today. I'm pretty excited about it. Even bread, and I've never made homemade bread in my life; that's my middle sister's forte. Tonight it's gonna be oven-fried chicken and cornbread. Little to no fat!!! And I'm making my own ovenfry stuff, not store-bought. I may even make a chocolate cake. I plan to buy all of her books off of Amazon when I get a little extra cash. Also, these juicing books. A wealth of information, so I'm gonna get a couple of those off Amazon, too. And a must-have is the Wellness Foods A-Z; I absolutely HAVE to have this book!!! I can't keep checking it out from the library. It tells not just about food, but also vitamins and minerals. It's a resource I must have.

Exercise. I'm still walking. Not every day, but about 3 times a week for an hour each time. That's just a minimum, though. I mean, they say walk for 30mins 6 times a week. But I think that's for everybody and to lose weight I need to do a little more. So I'm gonna get back on it. I'm proud of myself, though. I have been going through hell mentally and emotionally the past few months and I have NOT let it interrupt this!!! Normally, I give up, but not this time. In the midst of absolute crisis and chaos, I've kept walking. I think I've accomplished a life change. Now if I don't walk, I actually MISS it! Still need to get it together with the strength and flexibility training. I really like the Curves workout (as outlined in the curves book to do at home). So on the days that I don't walk, that's what I'm going to do. I have to get a jump rope and a new 4ft resistance band. Then it's on! And it's only 30mins, so I have time for that. It's cold today, about 49 degrees, but I still walked! Can't gain weight cuz it's cold outside is what I keep telling myself. So I i have on two pairs of pants, a tshirt, and two sweatshirts. Works for me! And when it gets colder, I'll add thermals and a turtleneck and of course some type of jacket. NOTHING will keep me from my goal.

TOPS. Still haven't joined. I honestly haven't had the extra cash to do so. I started to just join and worry about money later, but I figured, I've been doing well by myself for the past few months, I can hold out a little longer. But I still want to join (NEED to join) because I like the accountablity and support of a weight-loss group and I like being able to weigh in each week to see where I'm at. I just have to figure out how their dues work. If I have to pay again in January, I'ma just wait 'til then. But if my dues are based on when I join, I'm joining as soon as I have $26 extra.

So that's where I'm at right now. Stay encouraged!!!

Bad news - BINGE!!

Yup, I'm in the midst of a binge. Let's see. Friday night I ate a whole can of cashews. I felt horrible on Saturday, but not so bad that I didn't keep eating. I ordered a pizza and ate the whole thing. It was a small, six slices, but still, I ate the WHOLE thing. In two sittings. And some cheese sticks. From Papa John's. Not to mention the cheese was probably unclean. I have to do better. Today I ate a .99 bag of Doritos and a .99 bag of mini Oreos. I don't know what's wrong with me. While I'm coming up with these meals and anticipating getting back on the bandwagon FOR REAL, I'm falling off big time. But I'm conscious of it and I won't let it get out of hand. I know I don't want to do this, though, because I feel constipated and bloated. Ugh, I just don't feel well. And I know why, so I know how to avoid this feeling.

That's one of the reasons I'm looking into this juice fasting stuff so tough - I know I need to cleanse my system. I know I do. But I'm going to let the juice do it for me. We'll see.

More research

Ok, so I've been reading on juicing and fruits and vegetables and detoxification. I've learned so much. One of the things I've been thinking about is growing my own herb garden. Well, there's no better time to start than the present. I figure I can teach myself how to do it buy getting books and reading so I came to the library to get started. I start a new job next week and want everything in place before that life-change commences. I've already come up with plenty of meal ideas (over 30 for dinner and a few for breakfast and lunch), so I don't have to worry about that. But I'm planning on going grocery shopping this week to get the things I'll need for the next week or two. I'm seriously committed to juicing, so I need to learn about some herbs and different sprouts, namely wheatgrass. I want to see what I can grow in the kitchen and what I can grow on my balcony, even though it's about to get cold. I don't have a window in my kitchen; I hope that doesn't pose a problem. I only have a few more days off and I want to maximize this time for learning and making changes, if need be.

I don't know if I'm going to do a fast or not, but I'm definitely adding two glasses of fresh juice each day. And I'm going to make them WORK for me!!

I found so many great recipes! I can't wait to try them out! Who knew that I would get addicted to cooking and stuff?! Gardnening?? Me?! Amazing! But I can't wait to start. I guess these are my newest hobbies.

More on this later...

Where I'm at now

I haven't really been updating this like I should. I do still keep my weight-loss journal at home, so I'm keeping track of everything, but still. Anyway, here's where I'm at...

WW will always be the foundation of my weight-loss plan, whatever it may be at the moment. Like right now, I'm not counting points (per se), but I pay attention to portion sizes and I *think* about how many points I'm consuming whenever I eat. It just dawned on me a couple days ago that I now have to eat FEWER points. I was a little miffed at first, but not like I didn't know this was coming. I understand that the smaller I get, the less fuel my body will need to run. I get that and all. But I'm overweight because I have a food addiction, so eating FEWER points still poses a problem to me. I JUST got acclimated to eating 26pts, now I'm down to 24. BUT the flip side of it is I'm still earning activity points and I still have those 35 WAP, so I'm good to go. But WW and the Points system will never be far from me. They help me to regulate what I eat and how much of it I eat at one time. I may not be attending my meetings, but I still get my magazine and I still have all of my WW tools from the 12 weeks I did attend meetings. That being said...

I'm researching again. I talked to a soror and she happened to mention detox. This is the second time it's come up in our conversations, so I figured I'd research it a little bit. And I don't mean taking any pills from GNC, I mean natural detoxification. Clearly, I have no idea what that entails, but I'm trying to steer clear of foreign substances. Not to mention, most pills or capsules are made with gelatin, and I can't eat pork in any form, so that's out. And speaking of not eating pork, what I know is helping me is following the dietary law set forth by our Creator. He lays it all out for us in Leviticus 11. I've been following this law for about 3 years now, but I'm constantly learning new foods that are unclean because they contain pork by-products. It dawned on me that if I was more conscientious in paying attention to ingredients and faithfully following YAH's dietary law, I'd be A LOT healthier! Anyway, that was all off topic, but important nonetheless. So I decided to get some books on detoxification while I was here at the library. I am checking out books I've already read but want to read again, and then books I've never read at all. Here's what I have:

1. The Detox Diet by Elson M. Haas, M.D. - I read the introduction and a little bit of each of the first few chapters. Very interesting and informative. Taking it home to get a better understanding of who needs, why, and when to detox. It even includes a detox diet. This has more to do with health than with weight-loss, but apparently has weight-loss effects.
2. Juice Fasting and Detoxification by Steve Meyerowitz - I picked this up because I haven't been juicing and I wanted to get back into it. Again, more for health benefits than for weight-loss.
3. The Juiceman's Power of Juicing by Jay Kordich - I read some of this when I first got my juicer and wanted to learn about juicing. I figured I may as well pick it up again.
4. Weight Loss That Lasts by James M. Rippe, M.D. & Weight Watchers - Why not? Just to keep me on my toes, give me a little extra motivation, and maybe I'll learn something that you don't get in meetings. A refresher course, if you will.
5. Mayo Clinic Healthy Weight for Everybody - Heard lots of good things about the Mayo Clinic. Turns out, the whole Mayo Clinic Diet is a myth, doesn't exist. But I figured I'd still read the book because they are touted to be experts. Might learn something.
6. FitFood, Eating Well for Life by Ellen Haas - I'm currently reading Superfoods Rx (for the 2nd time) and Superfoods HealthStyle, both by Dr. Steven Pratt. FitFood lists 21 fit foods, their advantages, and recipes using them. Very similar to the 14 Superfoods, so I figured I'd pick it up and compare and see if there is anything new in there that I haven't read before.
7. Wellness Foods A to Z by Sheldon Margen, M.D. - I've had this book before and I just had to pick it up again. It's like an encyclopedia of all foods and their nutritional benefits. It's fascinating. Nothing you could read cover to cover, but I would love to own this one day. In the meantime, I can keep getting it for FREE from the library. :)

So that's where I'm at right now. What I've come to realize is that if I focus on my HEALTH and not my looks, I get a lot farther. I don't want heart disease and I refuse to get it. I REFUSE. So I'm all about what I eat. I read in one of these books that 3 out of the 4 top reasons for disease have to do with how we eat. How crazy is that? All we have to do to ensure that we are healthy and remain healthy is EAT RIGHT?! Yet we don't do it. Damn all that. If that's all I have to do to ensure I don't follow in my parents' footsteps, I'M ON IT!!! I'm also trying to add new and different foods to my diet. I'm guilty of eating the same things all the time. It's not that I don't like what I eat or that I'm getting bored, it's just that I'm missing out on nutrients from other foods. So I'm broadening my horizons, which is hard for me because I'm a VERY picky eater. And I DON'T like vegetables. But I've decided to eat to live and not live to eat. I should not eat food simply because I like how it tastes, but because it's good for me and will have lasting effects on my health in the long run. That's what's important. If it's just THAT bad, then I'll juice it. Plus, I figure I don't have to eat whatever vegetable it is by itself, I can incorporate it into a recipe and still reap the nutritional benefits from it. I'm growing. Who knew?!

Another book I have at home right now is Cooking Thin With Chef Kathleen by Kathleen Daelmanns. It's a cookbook, with some decent recipes, but what I love about it even more is that before she even gets into the recipes, she gives tips on weight-loss. It's REALLY great and I'd recommend it to anyone.

So what have I learned? This has nothing to do with a "diet." I'm not on a "diet." I'm simply changing my eating habits and becoming more active. That's all. The changes I've made and am currently making will be a part of my lifestyle forever. That's why I can't do anything drastic - I know I'm not going to stick to it, so there's no sense in doing it now. Plus, I'm all about my health. Drastic diets focus on weight-loss, and while that's all well and good, what about my health?

So that's where I'm at!

Next up: Curves and limiting carbs, low-fat baking... Stay tuned...

ONEDERLAND, BABY!!!!!

That's right!!! I'm FINALLY in ONEderland!!! 193.5!!!! I have no idea when it actually happened cuz I haven't weighed myself in a while. But I did last week at a friend's house who had a digital scale. Man, I was so shocked by the read-out I had to weigh myself TWICE!! I haven't been writing down what I eat or really counting points. I have been paying attention to everything I put into my mouth and making sure that I'm making healthy choices. And I've kept exercising no matter what. And these last two weeks have been... WHEW!!! Life threw me a couple curve balls but a sista is STILL maintaining!!! AND consistently losing weight on top of it!!! I DIDN'T EMOTIONALLY EAT!!!! I DIDN'T STOP WALKING!!!!! Man, I'm growing and I LOVE it!!!!! There is NO going back!!!!

There is one slight problem. I have NO clothes. Now that fall is here, I have no clothes. And I can't afford to go shopping. I did get a couple sweaters at the GAP outlet last week, but I really need pants. Really, I need pants and skirts. I'm cool on jeans; those fit. My sister is sending me some clothes that she can't fit anymore, and my sister can dress, so it's cool. Most of that stuff she ain't never even wore. Y'all, even my shoes are too big. And I don't part with shoes. PERIOD. So I'ma hafta work something out, lol.

At any rate, just had to update cuz a sista is EXCITED!!!!!!!! This is the smallest I've been in 14 years!!!!! I'm NEVER EVER EVER going back!!!! EVER!!!!! Only 48 more pounds to go. This time next year, I'll be at my goal of 145lbs!!!

I still need to commit to doing some strength and flexibility. I have to keep reminding myself that if I don't, I'll be thin, but flabby and not toned, and that's just unacceptable! After all of this, I want to look good. Because the truth is, I FEEL good!!! I'm so proud of me, I really am. No heart disease for me!!! I will NOT follow in my mother's footsteps! I'm ADDING years to my life, not taking away, and there's nothing I'd trade in the world for that. Not even a box of Nabisco Ginger Snaps. (*And I came REAL close a couple weeks ago, REAL close!!*)

I guess that's all for now.

WOOWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

:-D