So I had something happen this weekend that caused me to really think hard about this whole fitness thing. I have been eating out of control and I'm gaining weight. As of this morning, I'm 181 pounds. Yes, back in the 180's, and NOT happy about it. Anyway, I can tell by the way my clothes are fitting. And I refuse to let it go any further. But that's not what caused the epiphany. My manfriend invited me to a fight party Saturday night. Now, it's not that I didn't know the people throwing the party; we go to Bible class with them. But I just didn't feel like being seen. I felt fat and unsexy. I didn't really have anything to wear. I almost canceled. But I didn't want to disappoint my manfriend, cuz I knew he was looking forward to me attending the party with him. So I threw something together (and felt SUPER bummy) and went. I decided that night that I would gain control of this weight thing. It just can't go on like this, controlling my decisions and making me feel anxious and self-conscious. I have been re-reading my Fitness magazines and a similar story sticks out to me. A lady was on vacation with her husband, and her insecurities about how she looked kept her from participating in an activity. Her husband was bothered by it. And that's how I felt this weekend, that my insecurities will affect my manfriend, and I don't want to let that happen. If I am uncomfortable with how I look, then I have to change it so that I'm no longer uncomfortable. No more will my body image affect the decisions that I make. That means I have to put in the work and the effort required to change.
So I devoured my BFL and BFLFW books. I went through all my Fitness magazines and tore out pages with workouts I'd like to try. I bought a new DVD (10-Minute Solution Fitness Ball workouts) and watched it to create different workouts. I have purchased a yoga mat and some 3lb and 5lb dumbbells. I have everything I need right at home. I tried some of the workouts and some of the moves. I am committed to making this change. So today is Day 1. Already we're off to a bad start, but nothing that can't be fixed. I didn't wake up this morning and exercise. So I will do it as soon as I get home from work today. My plan is to pretty much ease into the 12-week challenge. I am not expecting to be perfect, but I am expecting to make changes and work myself harder than ever. I'll post my measurements in here tomorrow so that I can keep track of inches lost. I can't wait to see how my body looks on February 4th, Day 84.
Exercise-wise, I'm off to a great start, as far as planning goes. Nutrition-wise, I'm not so ready. Today I'm going to plan meals and probably cook some as well. I bought some more Gladware so that I can freeze stuff that I make and have ready make lunches and dinners for the days I'm too tired to cook. I need to go to the produce store for some fruit so I can have snacks. I may do a modified version of FS because even though I don't want to lose weight too fast, I need to detox. I've been eating WAY too much junk. Like, seriously, horrible. Red meat included. So I'm getting back to basics with food and FS detox is a good way to start. Especially since I'm at 181lbs. We'll see. I'm not going to do anything too stringent as far as diet is concerned. I'm going to definitely count my points. And I'm going to drink more water. And I'm going to try to eat 5 small meals every day. I did bad at writing down what I ate last week, but it's a new week, and I'm going to try it again.
Once I get my car back from the mechanic, it opens me up to a world of opportunities, like driving to places to go walking (malls, indoor tracks, etc). Being able to go to the grocery store when I feel like it. Going dancing and to dance classes (I'm going to start belly dancing again).
So here we go. Day 1. Fat and not happy about it, so let's do something about it!!!