Still Day 1

And already I feel as though I've messed up.

I had a LC for lunch. Then I had 5 small chicken fingers. Bad idea. And I had some canned pineapples. That's all. Oh, and some water. No idea what I'ma have for dinner. But considering how I've been eating, today is actually not so bad.

I did have a realization, though. I read a few posts back and noticed something. When I was 178lbs, I was feelin' all sexy and stuff. What happened? What happened between this summer and now? Clearly, I can't really be that much bigger than I was before. Actually, that's not completely true. I may weigh the same, but I feel like I've gained some inches. Maybe it's cuz I'm on my period, I dunno. But the point is, I'm trippin'. Gettin' all bent out of shape when 3lbs ago I felt great about how I looked.

I guess what has happened is I've gotten used to my size. Whereas I used to be enamored with my new size, now I'm used to it and I don't view it as thin anymore. Now, I just see how I'm still overweight and I don't like how I look naked. And this isn't anything new, really. I've been on the LOOK BETTER NAKED kick since starting Pilates. But I'm ready to be DONE with this whole weight-loss and fitness thing. I'm tired of working toward a goal. I'm ready to be AT GOAL. Maintenance forever, that's what I'm ready for.

Oh, and I wanted to blog about my little mini-goal. January 13th is my man's birthday. My goal? To be so confident with my body, that I'm able to do a strip tease for him without feeling self-conscious. By that time, I should be about 75% of the way through the challenge and should be seeing some results. I can't wait to see what I look like!!!!! :) I'ma hafta buy some new lingerie!!!

Truth be told, I'm hoping to be at goal (around 150-155lbs) by the end of this challenge. Even if it means that the last week of the challenge I do FS to pull off the last 10lbs. So be it. I'll continue with a second challenge immediately following this one, just to perfect whatever I accomplish. I'm seriously trying to get MY dream body. That means NO FLAB: no flabby arms and no big belly and no thunder thighs and no back fat. I don't have to look like a body builder or anything like that, but I want to think that I have a nice body. Bump what everybody else thinks, I want to think I have a nice body. That means more muscle, less fat.

I was worried my manfriend would miss my "softness." He always comments on how soft I am (in a good way). So I asked him what he was gonna say after the softness is replaced by muscle. He said, "I'll say you a brick house!" That made me smile. I want him to be happy with me, too. And I guess I shoulda known that if I'm happy, he's happy. I've still had some sexual firsts with him, and I'm enjoying them (I'll spare y'all the details this time, lol). There are more to come, that's for sure. Hell, Fitness magazine even has a Better Sex Workout. I forget which issue that was in, though. What I know is that I will be at goal when I am completely comfortable with my body in the bedroom. When I don't think to myself, "Can I do that? Am I too heavy for him? Am I hurting him?" And all those crazy insecurity-driven questions that I have at the most inopportune times. So I'm looking forward to stripping for him with my newfound confidence (that should be arriving in around 4 to 6 weeks, I'm guessing).

Ok, time to go home and get that Upper Body workout out the way.

Body for Life: Day 1

So I had something happen this weekend that caused me to really think hard about this whole fitness thing. I have been eating out of control and I'm gaining weight. As of this morning, I'm 181 pounds. Yes, back in the 180's, and NOT happy about it. Anyway, I can tell by the way my clothes are fitting. And I refuse to let it go any further. But that's not what caused the epiphany. My manfriend invited me to a fight party Saturday night. Now, it's not that I didn't know the people throwing the party; we go to Bible class with them. But I just didn't feel like being seen. I felt fat and unsexy. I didn't really have anything to wear. I almost canceled. But I didn't want to disappoint my manfriend, cuz I knew he was looking forward to me attending the party with him. So I threw something together (and felt SUPER bummy) and went. I decided that night that I would gain control of this weight thing. It just can't go on like this, controlling my decisions and making me feel anxious and self-conscious. I have been re-reading my Fitness magazines and a similar story sticks out to me. A lady was on vacation with her husband, and her insecurities about how she looked kept her from participating in an activity. Her husband was bothered by it. And that's how I felt this weekend, that my insecurities will affect my manfriend, and I don't want to let that happen. If I am uncomfortable with how I look, then I have to change it so that I'm no longer uncomfortable. No more will my body image affect the decisions that I make. That means I have to put in the work and the effort required to change.

So I devoured my BFL and BFLFW books. I went through all my Fitness magazines and tore out pages with workouts I'd like to try. I bought a new DVD (10-Minute Solution Fitness Ball workouts) and watched it to create different workouts. I have purchased a yoga mat and some 3lb and 5lb dumbbells. I have everything I need right at home. I tried some of the workouts and some of the moves. I am committed to making this change. So today is Day 1. Already we're off to a bad start, but nothing that can't be fixed. I didn't wake up this morning and exercise. So I will do it as soon as I get home from work today. My plan is to pretty much ease into the 12-week challenge. I am not expecting to be perfect, but I am expecting to make changes and work myself harder than ever. I'll post my measurements in here tomorrow so that I can keep track of inches lost. I can't wait to see how my body looks on February 4th, Day 84.

Exercise-wise, I'm off to a great start, as far as planning goes. Nutrition-wise, I'm not so ready. Today I'm going to plan meals and probably cook some as well. I bought some more Gladware so that I can freeze stuff that I make and have ready make lunches and dinners for the days I'm too tired to cook. I need to go to the produce store for some fruit so I can have snacks. I may do a modified version of FS because even though I don't want to lose weight too fast, I need to detox. I've been eating WAY too much junk. Like, seriously, horrible. Red meat included. So I'm getting back to basics with food and FS detox is a good way to start. Especially since I'm at 181lbs. We'll see. I'm not going to do anything too stringent as far as diet is concerned. I'm going to definitely count my points. And I'm going to drink more water. And I'm going to try to eat 5 small meals every day. I did bad at writing down what I ate last week, but it's a new week, and I'm going to try it again.

Once I get my car back from the mechanic, it opens me up to a world of opportunities, like driving to places to go walking (malls, indoor tracks, etc). Being able to go to the grocery store when I feel like it. Going dancing and to dance classes (I'm going to start belly dancing again).

So here we go. Day 1. Fat and not happy about it, so let's do something about it!!!

Still... being... sitting... Still...

Still slowly starting. Yesterday I ate all kinds of junk. I won't even get into it, but it was pretty bad. At any rate, I'm pretty much finished re-reading BFLFW. I'm preparing my work-out routine. I'm still on the wagon, I'm just sitting here.

Slow start

Yesterday was a bad eating day. But instead of focusing on how bad it was, I'm instead going to learn from it. Here's what I learned:

• No snacks allowed in the house. Not even healthy ones. That pretty much means no processed foods. I can't keep it in the house. I've eaten a whole bag of baked cheetos and 3 boxes of 100 calorie snack packs. Ridiculous!!! So from now on, no snacks. If I want a snack, I'll have to make some popcorn. For sweet snacks, I'll have fruit or cereal.
• I need to practice some self-control and get back to proper portion sizes. I was eating cuz I liked the taste of the food, not cuz I was still hungry.

So that's that. But I still wrote everything down. And I'm still focused. It's just gonna take some time to get back in the saddle.

Oh, and I'm still re-reading BFLFW.

If it ain't broke...

don't fix it. I'm stickin' with FitDay.com.

It's been a long time...

like, too long. But some things happened (health-wise), and it took me off plan for a little bit. But here I am, back again. And ready and focused, just as before. I'm ready to take control and finish this journey. I'm ready to be in the maintenance phase. So starting today, I'm counting points (even if I go over) and writing down what I eat. I'm going to also go back to Fitday.com (or another site like it) and enter my food so I can see if I'm meeting my nutritional needs. So let's make a list of things I need to get done.

1. Read Body-for-Life for Women again. Take notes. Create a plan (eating and working out).
2. Plan meals for two weeks. Breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Pay attention to portion sizes, nutrient amounts, and POINTS values.
3. Schedule work-outs. 6 days a week, 3 cardio and 3 weight training.
4. Take all measurements: weight, inches, BMI, % body fat
5. You may need one appointment with a physical trainer to get some of the tests ( like %bf)
6. Make a doctor's appointment to get numbers: cholesterol, blood pressure, glucose levels, etc. Compare with last year and go again in 6 months.
7. Go through past issues of Fitness and WW magazines to find different fitness tips to try out every now and then to add variety to your workouts.

I think that's a good start. I'm going to look at different sites like Fitday today so I can make sure I'm able to start this week. I'm really excited! I'm a size 12 right now. I went thrifting yesterday, and I got a Limited skirt, size 10!! It fits, but it is a little tight. I give it a few weeks, and it should be much looser. I think I want to get down to a size 8.

At first, I was gonna do FS to give myself a weight-loss boost, but I decided against it. I really want to build muscle and tone my body. I really, really, really do. So I don't want to lose the weight too fast, because then I'll just have flab or skin left over. And I definitely don't want that. So I'm really going to work on building muscle.

So I'm taking a 12 week challenge (BFL). That's only 84 days, barely 3 months. I can't wait to see what my body looks like at the end of the 12 weeks. Then I'm going to do another 12 week challenge right afterwards, to make it a full 6 month process. I'm hoping to drop at least 25lbs over the next 6 months. I'm sure I can do it. This morning, I weighed in at 175.5lbs. I've been fluctuating between 173 and 177 the last week or so. But I'm using 175.5 as my starting weight and 150 as my goal weight. But I don't just want to lose weight, I want to gain muscle!!!

I saw an interval training (cardio) in the most recent issue of Fitness that I want to try. It's on the treadmill, and it seems really intense. I wanna see if I can do it. That's yet another challenge! That's going to be my exercise on my cardio days. Oh, and I'll have extra exercise, too. On Mondays, I'm going to start going line dancing with my FMIL. It'll be fun exercise and I'll get to bond with her, too. I'm going to start back at Pilates, most definitely. And I'll probably take two more dance classes, belly dancing and salsa (or some type of ballroom dance). I have to budget for the dance classes. I'm also going on a financial diet as well, so budgets are a must.

Well, that's all for now. More later, I'm sure.