Friday, April 21, 2006

Random stuff

My friend YaYa told me some months ago she'd read Body for Life for Women. Since BFL was what worked for me before (coupled with WW cuz I need the flex points or I'll still overeat), I figured BFLFW had to be just as good, but mentally, I wasn't ready. I'm happy to say I finally got the book from the library last week. I'm almost done with it (it's been a busy week). I need to read the rest so I'll know if the training program differs in anyway.

BFL is a challenge, 12 weeks at a time. I'm starting my challenge this coming Sunday, 4/23. My 12 weeks will be up on July 16th. My goal? I decided to take a belly dancing class about a month and a half ago (both for fun and for a fitness boost to get me active). Well, there is a studio recital in August. I absolutely want to participate in the recital. But NOT looking like this!! So my short-term goal is to look good in my belly dancing outfit! I'm currently a size 14 (for the most part), so I'm thinking a size 10/12 by August would be nice. And I'd like to tone up so I'm not flabby.

My present mantra: 12 weeks is gon' pass regardless. So what you gon' do? August is coming whether you like it or not. How are YOU gon' look in the recital?

Once the recital is done, I'll have a new benchmark, who knows what it will be. Ultimately, I want
  • to be healthy
  • look good
  • feel good about myself and
  • maintain my weight loss.
I want to complete this first 12-week challenge to show myself that I do have follow thru and that I am able to accomplish my goals. First off, being healthy. My mother was 32 when she gave birth to me. She died when I was 19 (heart disease). For the most part, we have very similar habits (I smoke, drink occasionally, and am for the most part, not very active). I am 32. I don't want to die in 19 years. That is my greatest motivation. I don't want heart disease. I don't want High Blood Pressure (my mother had this as well). I don't want diabetes. I don't want weak and brittle bones. I want to be STRONG in body and in mind. And I realize that only I have control over that. And it's time for me to take control. Starting now. Ending NEVER.

Looking good. I am SO tired of being a big girl. I think I'm sexy, yes. I think I'm pretty, yeah, I do. But I don't think I'm STUNNING. I think that I'm hiding the STUNNING me underneath all of this fat. I want to look good in dresses. I hardly ever wear dresses. Why? Because I like to have a shirt to cover the gut. I'm now tucking in all of my shirts. New for me. I tried it in a size 16 and was still not comfy with it. But now, I tuck. And now that I'm doing that, I can wear more dresses. But I want to look absosmurfly STUNNING in it. I am TIRED of my FLABBY ASS ARMS!!!! I want them GONE!!! That is also something I want in time for the recital: no flabby arms and a reduction in back rolls. They have GOT to go! I think that people see me as pretty... for a big girl. I just want to be PRETTY. I have so much more on this topic, especially stores and where will I shop!!

Feeling good. I want to FEEL good. Not just emotionally and mentally, but physically as well. I don't want to get sick so often. And I want to feel good that I accomplished something I set out to do. I can't wait to feel that feeling!!!

I can and WILL do this. When I feel like I'm about to "fall off," I'm just going to tell myself to JUST DO IT!!!

I have so much to post to make sure I stay on task. My next entries will deal with exercise, my reasons for doing this, and my reward system.

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