Friday, April 21, 2006


I am a 32 y/o, 5'8" African-American woman living in Ohio. I have struggled with my weight (and depression) ever since 1993. While I was in college, I lost both of my parents, 7 months apart. My coping mechanism? Isolation and emotional overeating. I went to college skinny as a rail, maybe a size 5/6. By the end of my freshman year, I was a size 16. I ballooned up to a size 20/22. Did Slimfast and regular work-outs my senior year to fit into a dress and got back down to a size 16, barely.

I first started WW in 2002, at 247lbs and in a size 18/20 (I had some stuff that was a 22). Lost about 16lbs and got down to a size 16 after about 6 weeks or so (I was also doing Body-for-Life). I ended up quitting because life was overwhelming me (5yr relationship ended, relocated to a new city). I kept the weight off for about a year, then I gained it ALL back, inches included. In 2004, I joined WW again. This time, I started at 244lbs and was back up to a size 18. Life was way too crazy at the time AGAIN (hating my job, dealing with depression). I lost 3.6lbs and gained them right back, all in 6 weeks.

I relocated again back in August (what can I say, I'm a nomad) and was on a VERY strict budget, so I think I watched what I ate much more. I didn't have money to splurge on eating things I honestly didn't need. I also walked a little bit here and there. At my new job, we eat lunch together every day and everyone packs their lunch. So no eating out probably helped, too. Pounds and inches just started to come off. People started to notice. I kept telling myself if I just DID some type of exercise, I could lose a whole lot more. I did nothing. Got down to about 220. Then last month, I got the stomach flu and got down to 213 (when the nurse left, I weighed myself at 211 naked). I was so excited at the doctor!! Sick as a dog, but excited nonetheless. So what happened? Slipped into a little depression and did what I do best, EAT. I was eatin' all kinds of stuff and wanting to eat more cuz I felt bad for all I had already eaten. I woke up one morning (after a weekend in my apartment alone, eating, and watching movies) and realized there was food in my bed. Bags of Easter candy, a bag of Cheetos Puffs, a can of cashews, a can of peanuts, a can of butter toffee peanuts (I'd already eaten one can), animal crackers, and who knows what else. All accumulated over the course of maybe a week. I slept on one side of my bed and there was a snack bar on the other side. It was all very reminiscent of college when I gained all this weight in the first place, holed up in my dorm room, wallowing in my depression, and eating myself to obesity. Was I purposefully trying to gain back the weight I was so excited I'd lost? I don't know, all I knew is I had to do something. So I put all the snacks in a bag and brought them to work. My coworkers were in heaven and so was I; I no longer had to be tempted by all that fat and salt and calories. A week later and here I am.

I went to my first WW meeting Wednesday (4/19). This is my third and final time starting over. And I mean that. I weighed in at 218lbs and I'm a size 14. My 10% goal weight is 196 and I CAN'T WAIT to get there. I am currently the smallest I've been in 14 years. 14 years. I simply refuse to turn back. It's been FOREVER (or so it seems) since I've been less than 200lbs. I can't wait to get to ONEderland!

1 comment:

Angelica said...

Monique, I believe this will be your fantastic voyage to the real you! You totally deserve this--your parents would have wanted this for you =). I'm a size 12 and also losing weight through the Slimfast plan. You will get there--it is only a matter of waiting. I will come back and see your progress soon.