Stuck

is how I feel. Not like most people, though, cuz I'm not at a plateau. Nope, I'm just not exercising and not being disciplined with my eating. I have one good day, then I fall off. Then I get back on the wagon and then I fall off. One of the problems is that my kitchen is a mess and I haven't cooked anything in like two weeks. Lazy and triflin'. That gets taken care of today after my morning shot of internet. So I gained back the 3.8lbs that I lost at the last meeting. Haven't been to weigh-in cuz of the weather and doing my hair (different story, different blog). and now I'm back to where I started in the first place. ARGH! It's SO frustrating; I just wanna be out of the 180's!!! Some days I'm like, Monique, just ride it out and quit stressin'. But other days I'm like, if you do that, you'll end up 250lbs again, so keep stressin'. Not stressin' stressin', but y'all know what I'm sayin'. So it's always on my mind. Today, I'm back on the wagon. Cleaning my kitchen and cooking a nice dinner. Doing some walking today cuz I'm going thrifting. I'm buying a digital camera in a few days so I'll take pics again and compare to my original "before" pics, but really to serve as my new before pics. I need to visualize this journey again and focus. Cuz I haven't been focusing at all. I have to remember I'm not like most people; I actually have to watch what I eat. And clearly not walking is making a huge difference! I need to exercise. I don't know why I haven't been to the rec center; I've had a car for a month and a half, so really there's no excuse for it. I can't wait until the weather warms up and I can walk outside again. And I'll be hired on at my job where they have a fitness center that has aerobic classes and I can't wait for that either.

The bottom line is IF I WANNA SEE CHANGE, I HAVE TO EARN CHANGE.