It's on...

Sunday was an absolutely gorgeous day. GORGEOUS. So y'all know what I did? That's RIGHT!!! I went walking! I walked over 4 miles and I had a great time doing it! But I was sore as all get out the next day AND I had a blister on my heel. But I still enjoyed it. And I've been consistently OUT of the 180's for the past three days or so. I was 177 the other day and 179 (BOOOOOOOOO) this morning. But the point is, the second digit is a 7. :) So I'm getting back on the bandwagon, slowly but surely. I went roller skating last week, too, for about 1.5hrs. That had my body sore, too. But it's all good.

I do have to get something off my chest though. I was looking at some online weight-loss testimonies and this one chick's before picture was around the same weight I'm at now. BUT, this chick's body looked WAY better than mine. Ok, she was 1.25 inches taller than me, but STILL. Her body looked nothing like mine. :( Now I feel conflicted because the other day, this man was giving me compliments and one of them was that I had a nice body. I'm like, who? ME?! Please, you haven't seen me naked! LOL! But it still made me feel good, because sometimes I forget I have a different body and I'm not really all that used to it. So right after I get lifted up a little bit, I come right back down after seein' ol' girl's pics. *sigh* I know I shouldn't even be comparing myself to someone else, but it's hard. It really is. And no matter what anyone says, I'm continuing on with my weight-loss journey. I don't care if other people think I look OK, I clearly am not happy with how I look. Ok, that's not totally true, either. I do kinda like how I look . . . . . . IN MY CLOTHES. I'm kinda thick and I like it. But I don't like how I look naked. I don't. I actually think it's disgusting. I'm glad we wear clothes, lol. Cuz I'd hate to hafta even do y'all like that!

So I guess I said all that to say, I need to work on staying within and focusing not on without. My body is my body and so what what someone else's body looks like. Haz bien y no mires a quien in spanish means "do well and don't look to others" or "mind your business." And that's what I need to do: focus on me, do well, and not look to others.

In weight loss...

the phrase no news is good news just doesn't ring true. So that let's you know that I have no good news, lol. I don't have any bad news, either. I haven't gained nor lost any weight. I'm still 182.5. I fluctuate down to 179 and up to 185, but I always come back to 182.5. I haven't been exercising, not even going to Pilates. The snowstorm a few weeks ago totally threw me off schedule and then making up those hours the next week at work... I just haven't seemed to be able to get back on track. But I have a new job now and I'm moving next month. My new complex has a fitness center in the basement, so I will have NO excuses! My eating habits have been even worse. I have pretty much been eating whatever the hell I want. So sad. I'm trying to get it in gear, but it's kinda hard. I know as soon as it's nicer (read: warmer) outside, my habits will change. I'll be able to walk and I don't waste calories burned on food. Well, sometimes, I do, lol, but not like I've been doing. I'm surprised I haven't gained any weight, for real. I'm ready to lose these last 30 pounds or so. I feel good about myself, though, but I want to feel totally confident all the time. And that won't happen until there is no gut and no back fat. So I need to get it in gear. As much as I feel like I could never succeed on that Fat Smash diet, I'm starting to think I need to do it to cleanse my system. I already know how to eat, I'm just not doing it. And I've eaten SO much junk, I need to cleanse. And I haven't been juicing because I really want a new juicer. I HATE cleaning mine. I know if I get a new one I'll juice more often. Every day, shoot. I need to go 'head and work that in my budget, lol.

Well, that's all. Not off the bandwagon completely, it's always in the back of my mind. And I have to be honest, I'm loving wearing smaller clothes! I really am enjoying my physical transformation. And I'm proud that even though I haven't been eating right or exercising, I've maintained my weight. That lets me know that once I reach my goal weight I won't gain the weight back. And that's so reassuring and motivating, too.